Organizational Midwifery | Part 2
by Rehana Tejpar
I’m continuing to understand our work at Bloom in facilitating organizational change within the framework of organizational midwifery, feeling increasingly that underneath our work is a broader purpose to support the birthing of new ways of being, and simultaneously, to support the death of old ways.
In this second phase of Organizational Midwifery, we recount the transformative journey of one organization. We worked with them to rebuild trust after intense trust breakdown, regenerate their relationships and work culture, and align leadership and power with their core values. For confidentiality purposes, the organization will be left unnamed, and will simply be referred to as the organization.
“What we need is a healing meeting” – Participant
We were brought in to design and facilitate an urgent, high-stakes in person leadership meeting with leaders from around the world. They no longer trusted one another due to unresolved conflicts, lack of candid discourse, transparency, and a culture of conflict avoidance. This led to countless unresolved questions on roles, decision-making structure, and strategy, creating an "us vs. them" mentality that left them in gridlock.
We began with one-on-one meetings to understand what members of the organization perceived as patterns that kept them stuck, preventing them from moving forward. Additionally, we dug deep to gain clarity on their hopes for an upcoming gathering, and any actions that needed urgent attention.
With too many cooks in the kitchen, and the added heat from pressure for a single gathering to account for all the important conversations, fear, and pain was bubbling to the surface, and it showed in how each individual had a different solution for how it should be done. Clearly, the conditions to foster generative dialogue were not in our favour….. We listened to the fear and pain, and saw that we needed to first slow down to rebuild a foundation of trust as a stable ground beneath their feet. With that, we could tackle the big questions of power, structure and decision-making for the organization moving forward.
How do we rebuild trust? One step at a time. And it started with us – we needed to believe in their ability to restore trust even when they couldn’t. This is the work of the midwife of change - to lend confidence and trust in one another and in the process, especially in those hard moments when there’s an us/them dynamic, unresolved conflict has accumulated and resentment has formed,, when there’s fear to speak honesty and to be vulnerable. When we’ve lost hope that people can understand us and that we can do things differently together.
Building the Container for Trust & Common Ground
In Organizational Midwifery Part 1, we spoke about the importance of creating a supportive environment for the birth. Similarly with this group, we spent the first half day building the container for what was to come. We did this incrementally.
Beautiful music and smiles greeted people as they arrived, we sat in a circle, where everyone was visible and took some deep breaths. We warmed up with pairs and shares, named the moment, and kept breathing together.
We shared these 4 Pillars of Inclusion - Humanity, Equality, Wholeness and Collective Wisdom as anchors for our shared leadership in this meeting and in stewarding the outcomes of the meeting. They discussed in small groups what thoughts or feelings arise as they contemplate their work at the organization in connection to these principles.
We offered frameworks for systems change and nervous system regulation to support us working at the intersection of the personal, interpersonal and systemic levels and to bring awareness of our nervous systems reactions in conflict and the unknown.
We played! Sharing stories in pairs - in a way that releases the thinking brain, and taps into the spontaneous, improvisational, embodied brain. What fun! After about an hour of play, a participant reflected, “I now believe that we can have the conversations we need to have.”
We built common ground in the Talking Circle around the question “Why are you still here at this table?” Despite all the distrust, there was a strong shared faith and passion in the organization’s work and mission. There was more alignment than they expected!
This container created the conditions that enabled us to confront hidden issues, unspoken experiences, and accumulated conflict and hurt.
Clearing Mis(communication): Intention – Action - Impact
To continue into the work, we used a beautiful process to clear conflicts, designed by Betty Pries called the Discernment Circle.
People were invited to share either a) the intent behind an action they took, or b) the impact of an action someone else took. That was all. No debates or discussion. Simply an active listener to paraphrase back, and the rest of us to listen. Typically, in conflict, all that is seen is the action taken, and what is left hidden (unless shared) is the intent behind the action and the impact it had, and in the absence of this, we make meaning, create a grievance story, characterize, etc., and from this -misunderstandings and us/them divisions can set in place.
We entered the dark cave together with headlamps, to lovingly witness the accumulated hurts. They were brave, honest and full of compassion for one another. There was remorse and reckoning. It was powerful to witness.
Wisdom Circle and Letting Go
With deep insight into their collective condition, they then shared wisdom to move forward.
As a way of closing the day, we held a letting go ceremony around a fire. The power of ritual supported the release of the old, making space for the new.
Beginning Anew
The next morning, we felt like a new dawn. The theme of the day was: what opportunities can we envision now for reshaping how our collaborations move forward differently? We used Open Space, where people co-create the agenda, and call the conversations they are passionate about and have the responsibility to carry forward. They dove into the many conversations they had been waiting for. We stepped back to hold the outer rim of the container. At times, we gently invited them to use a talking piece so everyone’s voice was being heard, or to slow down for a breath. They facilitated themselves, harvested key insights and when the moment came to close, we were in a very different place than we had begun. Not easy, not perfect, or complete, but in a tight knit circle, holding one another, it was clear that the beginnings of a new way were present.
They were more aware of the inner and collective work needed to move forward in a more trusting and loving way. They had unblocked their work, had clear next steps and much more trust to support them in getting there.
We’ll share more in September about Leadership Coaching in Organizational Midwifery: Part 3.